From clash to pash in three simple steps

From clash to pash in three simple steps 

Fighting is easy; making up not so easy.

Sometimes it's much simpler to sweep rage under the rug and leave it. But the post-clash repair process is probably the most important part of the fight because it forces you to work together to understand each other. That may in turn solidify your relationship, says Dr Daniel Wile, author of After the Fight.
Try this three-step plan for settling your next spat and you'll wind up holding hands - not grudges.

1 . Establish a "ready" signal. If you force a discussion while either of you is still sorting out your feelings, you won't accomplish much, says Dr Wile. You're still in fight mode and talking now is like eating pineapple when you have a sore throat - it seems healthy, but it could sting. Let enough time pass so that you're thinking beyond the nasty exchange.
The green light can be as simple as plunking a fake flower in an empty vase or as straightforward as a face-to-face "Let's talk". When each of you has sent the signal - or said the words - the forum is officially open.

2 . Make bodily contact. According to a study in the iournal Psychosomatic Medicine, physical contact raises blood levels of the hormone oxytocin, which reduces stress and makes you feel connected. So - even if it's the last thing you want to do - initiate a hug.
Swallowing your pride and making that first move may be hard, but even sitting on the same side of the table or nestling against each other on the couch nudges you out of the fight zone and closer to fix-it mode.

3 . Consider his point of view. Avoid repeating rants from the fight. That'll just land you back in another bickerfest faster than you can say "ex-girlfriend". "The recovery conversation works only if you approach it from a different angle," says Dr Wile.
You don't have to pretend you're OK with what he did, but considering his viewpoint will soften his defence. Remember high-school physics? For every action there's an equal and opposite reaction: if you concede just a bit, there's a good chance he'll do the same.

The three-minute solutionGet over it in record time. Once you're ready to sort things out, edit your potentially epic discussion into a short-story-length chat. How? Enlist a third-party moderator - your kitchen timer. Set it so you each get three minutes to talk about how you experienced the incident. When the bell rings, reset it so you each have another three minutes to ask questions. An abbreviated talk helps you get to the point so you can explain your side and request a behaviour change. And the whole thing will be easier to stomach because you'll know you're just minutes away from normalcy. We hope.

Read More

Not even solo sex is 100 percent safe.

Not even solo sex is 100 percent safe.

 

In horrifying health news, it turns out that self-pleasure may put you at risk for an STDYou read correctly: according to new research presented at the American Public Health Association Meeting earlier this month, it seems that masturbation doesn't exempt you from disease.
Researchers at the University of Florida College of Public Health and Health Professions studied oral sexual behaviors and oral HPV infections in 1,030 women. The women completed surveys about their oral sex behaviors, including a few that may put them at risk for self-infection if they already had genital HPV.
Specifically, they were asked if they ever touched their genitals then their mouths with a hand or sex toy. And unfortunately, 15.7 percent did. Not surprisingly, those women were about six times more likely to have oral HPV.
While this was a small study that didn't prove a cause and effect relationship, it's still not smart to touch your mouth with the same hand or sex toy that was recently down below-whether or not you have genital HPV.
Experts aren't yet sure which oral sex behaviors are riskier than others, so it's best to play it safe by washing your hands or sex toys before putting them anywhere near your mouth ...

Also Read Related......

Love and Sex

Read More

facts about sex that people often get wrong 10

facts about sex that people often get wrong 10

Brush up on sex facts and fiction as we bust some common myths
Sales of condoms decrease when a recession hitsFiction
When the stock market took a dive, other things began to rise. Sales of condoms jumped by over 6 per cent in the last quarter of 2008 in the USA. Either it's too expensive to go out, or too expensive to have a kid or both.2 . More than 1 out of every 10 online sites are pornography.Fact

A 2006 Internet Filter Review estimated that 12 per cent of all sites are porn-based.3 . Humans are the only species to have sex for pleasure.Fiction
Although scientists haven't identified every animal that does, we do know that we aren't alone in loving to get it on.4 . "Sex" is the most frequently searched word online.Fiction

A little over a year ago the term "sex" was overtaken by the word "Facebook" in search volume on Google. Right now, "Facebook" is searched five times more often than sex.
This leads us to wonder, has Facebook ruined our sex lives?5 . Women who didn't attend university are more likely to have both oral and / or anal sex.Fiction

Studies show that women who have received post-high school educations are more open to giving and receiving both oral and anal sex. Look what you learn in uni!6 . The strongest muscle (for its size) in the body is the tongue.Fact

Although there's some discrepancy on how to measure this strength, the tongue is the strongest muscle when it comes to its size.7 . Women have increased sex drives during ovulation.Fact

Women have a heightened libido during ovulation. It's nature's way of getting us knocked up.8 . Chocolate is a natural aphrodisiac.Fact and fiction

While chocolate contains phenylalanine, an amino acid that raises the body's endorphins which are natural antidepressants and libido lifters, chocolate's aphrodisiac effects have yet to be scientifically proven.9 . Men's sexual organs are designed for more pleasure than women's.Fiction

Women win this contest hands down. The clitoris, after all, is the only known organ that's sole purpose is pleasure. It has the most nerve endings per area of ​​any part of the body.10 . Having sex once a week can boost your immunity.Fact

Researchers at Wilkes University in the US found that having sex regularly does, in fact, give you an immunity bump.

They found a 30 per cent increase in immunoglobulin A (IgA) proteins in people who had sex once or twice a week, compared to those who didn't have sex. IgA binds to pathogens when they first enter the body and gets the immune system to destroy the invaders.11 . The avocado was named after sperm.Fiction

The Aztecs used the avocado as a sex stimulant, naming it ahuacatl, which actually means "testicle".12 . The vanilla plant was named after the vagina

Also Read Related Topics......

Love and Sex

Read More

Why eating like our Stone Age sisters could be the best thing for our waistlines

Why eating like our Stone Age sisters could be the best thing for our waistlines

 

Eating like a cavewoman could be the most effective weight loss diet for womenWhen compared to a modern diet, eating like our ancestors showed favourable results in lowering fat mass, abdominal obesity and triglyceride levels too. According to the study in the European Journal of Clinical Nutrition the long-term effects of a paleolithic diet point to sustained weight loss, lower kilojoule intake and potentially better general health.

The study tested two diets on a group of 70 overweight women (of postmenopausal age). Split into two groups, one ate a paleo diet (short for paleolithic) and the other a high-fibre, low-fat diet in line with modern nutrition recommendations in Nordic countries.

The paleo diet is based on a strict hunter-gatherer diet of meat, eggs, fish, fruits, nuts, seeds and vegetables. That means grains (bye bye quinoa, rice, pasta), dairy (oh, beloved milk!), Legumes, salt, processed foods and refined sugars are off the menu.

But despite - or because of - the restrictions, the women on the paleo diet lost more weight on average and had lower waist circumferences at both the six and 24 month intervals. Paleo eaters lost an average of 6.5kg after six months and 4.6kg at the two-year mark, while their companions on the modern Nordic diet lost an average of 2.6kg and 2.9kg, respectively. Paleo dieters also lost 11.1cm around their waist at six months and 3.7cm at two years compared to 5.8cm and 2cm in the other group.

Naturally, there are caveats. Firstly, the study didn't account for younger men or women, but the results suggest that similar results would be replicated in these groups. Secondly, while both groups met with dietitians throughout the study for various testing, dieters were not assigned an amount of food to eat, only what to eat and previous research by the same Swedish team has shown that those on paleo diets tend to eat less and have better satiety levels.

This means the triglyceride levels, blood pressure scores and weight loss were not based on equal portion sizes but a number of variables including appetite hormones. Improved satiety also contributes to overall satisfaction with a diet and more motivation to stick with it.

WH weight loss expert, Tara Diversi, says that the paleo diet isn't the only way to lose weight or comply to good eating habits. "It may help you lose weight more effectively, but we are unsure as to whether it keeps us healthier for longer. From the research into the benefits of plant based diets, it is hard to believe that this is the only healthy option."

And, while she likes that the paleo style of eating promotes eating real food over processed food, it's not a one-size fits all approach. "The concern for me is the amount of meat in this diet, and the fact that it cuts out legumes. For some people this is too much."

Also Read Related Topics

Diet + Health

http://celebrity707article.blogspot.com/p/blog-page_26.html

Read More

Keeping Passion in Your Relationship

Keeping Passion in Your Relationship

You know, I'm so glad we're talking today about the issue of sexuality. But, I want to expand the discussion somewhat from just sexuality, to sexuality, passion and intimacy. While the three are different, they are all connected.

Just consider: Can't holding hands be as intimate as intercourse? Doesn't the fact your partner did the laundry, folded it and put it away (without being asked!) Make you want him as much as candles and flowers? Can't the passion you feel sharing your child's first word with your partner, or buying your first house together, be just as vital as the passion you experience during a marathon lovemaking session?

I submit that it is. That's why it's important to bring passion and intimacy into the everyday corners of your life instead of saving them for the bedroom, vacations or romantic outings.Easier said than done, you say. Well, maybe. But it really doesn't have to be that difficult. Here are a handful of simple yet effective ways to bring passion and intimacy to the everyday:

 Pursue a new hobby together. It could be wine tasting, a high school sports team you follow closely or reading the same book and discussing it. Do something together that enhances your knowledge of a subject and of each other.
    Exercise together. Walk, run, do sit ups. Be a support partner for each other and acknowledge any small gains made for getting healthier and sexier. Consider showering together.
    Touch each other 10 times a day. It could be anything from a kiss to a pinch, but the understanding is that this is not going to lead directly to sex. It's just a way of physically connecting with one another.

 Plan, prepare and cook a meal together. You'd be surprised at the sensual punch cooking a meal together can have. And, of course, you get to enjoy it with each other.
    Schedule a sex date. Planning for sex builds up excitement, expectation and desire that normally just isn't there when you crawl into bed at 11 pm

    Put a lock on your bedroom door. This is particularly important if you have children (or adult children) still at home, or even a dog that's used to having the run of the place.
    Set a moratorium on all sex for several weeks or even a month. That doesn't mean you can't continue touching one another and talking about sex. You just can't have sex. The sheer act of prohibiting something makes it all the more enticing.

   Be realistic about the time sex takes to accomplish. We all have busy lives and likely are exhausted by days' end. But, don't let the sex act take on unrealistic proportions. After all, it probably takes only about 10 minutes from start to finish for most people. 

Your Cultural Background in the Bedroom

Numerous things affect a woman's desire, ranging from work stresses to physical exhaustion to being unhappy with her looks. Even your cultural or religious background can play a role.

Also Read Related Topics......

Reasons You're Not Having Sex 5

10 Ways To Tell That You're A Bad Kisser

Read More

Reasons You're Not Having Sex 5

Reasons You're Not Having Sex 5 

For many people, having frequent sex is one of the best parts of being in a relationship. Great sexual chemistry might be one reason why you and your partner got together in the first place! But if that's the case, why do so many couples end up in sexless relationships?
According to recent statistics, more than 40 million Americans are living in sexless marriages, and 15 percent of couples have sex 10 times a year or less. If this sounds like you and it's bothering you or your partner, you might want to figure out what's behind it. Consider these possibilities.

Problem: You're too tired

Solution: Get more rest
Not getting enough sleep is bad for your mind and body, and being tired can put you in a bad mood and reduce your desire for intimacy. If you're denying your partner because you'd rather sleep than fool around, make it a point to change your sleep schedule for more shut-eye. You could try having sex in the morning or afternoon instead of before bed.

Problem: You're not confident about your body

 

Solution: Take steps to feel better about yourself
Many people stop having sex because they feel self-conscious about their bodies. If you put on a little weight or haven't had time to shop for new underwear lately, you might not feel sexy to your partner. It's not always easy to eat healthier and exercise more, but you can take steps to be more comfortable with your body as it is now. As you're taking small steps toward healthier living, work on thinking more positively about yourself. Ask a friend to help you shop for some new clothes or lingerie that fit and flatter your shape and help you feel sexy at any size.

Problem: You have age-related issues 

Solution: Try medication or lube
Aging couples may find that sex isn't as enjoyable. Men may have trouble getting an erection, while women may feel drier during perimenopause and after menopause. Speak to a health care provider or a sex therapist to find treatments for these problems, like medication or a vaginal moisturizer or lubricant. 

 Problem: Your kids are always around

Solution: Find alone time
Once you have kids, it may feel like you and your partner are never alone together, and when you are, you're often too worn out to engage in sexual activities. If this is the case, schedule regular date nights, preferably with a sitter who's willing to spend the night with your kids. When you're at a hotel or your kids are at Grandma's, you'll have plenty of uninterrupted time to fool around. 

Problem: You don't talk about sex

Solution: Be more open

Read More

Women and Libido at Midlife

Women and Libido at Midlife

Reading some comments in response to last week's post about the attempts to develop a female equivalent to Viagra made me aware that although there are many women who are eagerly awaiting such a drug, there are many others who would not consider a drug to boost their libido

That's why it's so important to try to understand and examine what's really going on with libido at midlife, a time when so many changes are taking place in our bodies and catching us unaware.

The North American Menopause Society (NAMS) has a thing or two to say on the subject. Sex drive decreases gradually with age in both men and women, they say, but it's different for women: they are two to three times as likely to lose that lovin 'feeling.

Menopause, along with its infamous hot flashes, night sweats and vaginal dryness as a result of plunging estrogen levels, can pose a challenge to a woman's libido and sexual desire. That's one reason why drug companies are busy trying to create a female equivalent of Viagra. Other treatments women consider, like testosterone, have modest effects and there's limited knowledge about the long-term safety as it relates to breast cancer or heart disease (although studies are ongoing).

My recent visit to Tucson's famed Miraval Resort & Spa shed some light on the topic when I attended a lecture, "Let's Talk About Sex (for Women Only)," led by Sheryl Brooks, a registered nurse and certified menopause practitioner.

I had the opportunity to ask Sheryl some key questions

Q. What are the changes that come with perimenopause and menopause that can have an impact on a woman's libido and sex life?

 A. For some women, the perimenopause transition or becoming a postmenopausal woman has little effect on their libido or vaginal comfort during sex. But for others there can be one or several-like sleep disruption, night sweats, mood swings or decreased vaginal lubrication (that can make sex uncomfortable

 Q. What about the emotional changes? Perhaps women are stressed, fatigued, have an emotional disconnect with their partner, etc. What are some problems you see that may get in the way of a satisfying sex life? And what would you recommend women do to help overcome this and maintain, or perhaps rediscover, their ability to have a satisfying sex life with their partners?

A. All the things you mentioned can impact our sex lives. Making time to connect on a regular basis with their partner, getting at least seven hours of sleep most nights and getting some stress management tools, like meditation, are all things to consider

Q. So many midlife women worry about their body image and as a result may feel self-conscious or a lack of desire. Any advice?

A. Realize that you are looking at your body in a much more critical and negative way than your partner does. If your partner admires your body, believe what they say instead of pointing out the flaws you think they missed.

Q. How can a woman get back in touch with her body at midlife?

A. Set the intention to be fully present in your body throughout the day as well as during sex so you can really appreciate and enjoy the sensations we are designed to experience. 

Q. Can you suggest a dialogue a woman can have with her partner to open the discussion about wanting a more satisfying sex life?

A. I think the best approach is to be honest about what is going on from her perspective-not criticize-and to let her partner know that she would like to work together to make their relationship and sex life a priority. We all know how to talk with our own partners and what approach is best.

Q. What about the vaginal changes, like thinning tissue, diminished blood supply, lack of lubrication, etc.? What can women do?

A. You just described the changes that often occur with lack of estrogen. For some women, these changes will be significant; for others, not. Lubricants used during sex and vaginal moisturizers (both used on a regular basis) can reduce discomfort during sex. Also, regular vaginal sex activity helps to maintain vaginal tissue. When sex becomes uncomfortable or painful, a woman should make a point to discuss treatment options with her health care provider.

 Note: According to NAMS, vaginal dryness that is menopause-related can lead to pain during sex and may also be associated with arousal troubles. Topical treatments are available as nonprescription and non-medicated lubricants and moisturizers as well as prescription-only topical forms of estrogen therapy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Read More